I want to make Jon&Kate babies with him. Not in quantity, but in percentage asian.
at a bonfire and someone threw a plastic cup in the fire. everyone immediately stopped what they were doing to yell collectively at him about what he was doing to the environment, then went back to drinking
only in oregon
just joined the mile high club. if this plane crashes because of this text, it was worth.
It's been a long time since I felt this bad on a Monday... and for that, I thank you.
He busted his lip while trying to keep from passing out in the pool. The hotel people don't seem to be too concerned that we're passing around a bottle of SoCo at 11 am.
Just had a brita power hour to try to counter act all the wine i chugged last night.....fucking franzia
Moment of the night: you were impatient while I paid for the tequila shots and proceeded to lick and salt MY hand for me. This is why we're roommates.
Say hello to your nephew Sir Isaac Meriwether van Catsworth
I'm going to have to start taking your phone after ten. That's when all the cat pictures come
No. Cease was criminally insane from birthday shots, and not a lot of women want to go home from the bar with a guy who wants to "snuggle but keep it strictly professional".
I have migrated to the couch. Minimal movement is still happening, but I should be mobile enough to go to the liquor store by eight.......so that good.
I want to throw pennies on her stage, or just ripping up a dollor bill and throw them one at a time.
I'm going through our high school yearbook trying to find what boys I want to hook up with this summer. We graduated four years ago. That's a problem.
I mean of all the things to be cockblocked by, Taco Bell is pretty high on the list
I had sex with him in the back of my car in a duck onesie. I'm worth something dammit.
I went to my AA meeting last night. My drug dealer is now my counselor.
Randomize
