No offense but you kinda look like a Jack Johnson fan in that pic
he couldn't find his key, so we just had sex on his parent's porch while we waited for his mom to get home.
I don't think so, think I've only met him once, the night I lost my teeth
Dude their dog does tricks for sips of beer. He keeps going up next to people and trying to shake. This is awesome.
they esentially rejected my mermaid threesome offer:(
Why can't public transit accommodate my lifestyle of drinking til midnight on a Monday?
So someone just pointed out to me that during dinner, I mentioned more women that I'm attracted to than men. The transition might be complete. I'm gay.
i just looked in the mirror i look like i'm about to film a PSA about prostitution
She just mixed her Emergen-C with champagne... Vegas here we come!
Yeah when I texted her last night the only response I got was "stoned eating cobbler."
I just bought a bong from a hot dog stand.
I'm totally going to bang the cable guy tonight. I'm so pumped
I'm starting to think my emotional health is declining because I was watching transformers today and legit almost started crying
At least you got some excitement going on, you got weed and might die tonight, I'm just sitting here bored as fuck.
apparently i ended up downloading "thats amore", giving him head, and singing it... all at the same time
Randomize
