at some point to night u and I have a 'meeting' too...(1-737): I hope so
tuesday night obama will do an address about the oil spill at 8... it'll only be about 15 minutes... but i think thats plenty of time for a drinking game. key words "oil" "bp" and "responsibility"?
Fuck yes. Let's make bingo cards.
you kind of just crawled on top of him. that was the point at which i became concerned with how drunk you were.
She is trying to turtle bite me and when I pull away she says just let it happen. Then she pulled a poptart out of nowhere
I think I should just accept my destiny that I'm going to be someone's second wife
My tits sealed my fate
You ever just wake up and decide, today I'm going to eat a whole bag of fritos and a tub of cream cheese
I've noticed we have slowly begun to phase the "B" out of our Bromance.
I don't think a gay three way is the best way to confirm your sexuality.
I was unconscious Saturday for like 6 hours after I passed out on the sidewalks of our nation's capital. Thank you America, for bottomless brunch.
I am thankful for thumbs.
Because without thumbs, we would be dolphins.
Land dolphins.
You can't say "my boobs are wonderful" and not expect my drunken subconscious to focus on wanting to see them. Btw-can I see them?
There's something really beautiful about walk of shaming past the Capitol.
I don't remember much from my 21st, but my mom said I insisted on the fat guy taking body shots off me
Can't decide if it was more awkward buying sheets together or disposing of them afterwards
Dude just walked up to me, gave me his number and said, if this number ever calls its my penis,better keep that one handy. I cant lie its the best pick up line ever, im calling his penis.
Randomize
