Do you think you have hit the lowest point in your life when you find yourself actually condisering watching the movie "Gigli"?
I think my hot accountant is wearing banana republic. I miss the days when that ='ed gay. Signals are so confusing now.
You were running around the house covered in syrup, with shredded down pillow feathers on your body screaming "AFLACK!" at everyone
She tied me up with her honor cords...
She's gonna be fat in the future. On a side note I had a "It's not you, it's me." conversation with a bottle of jack last night.
i'm sitting in the second floor bathroom drinking coronas in the shower. do not find me.
Just woke up to find myself cooking eggs on the imaginary stove in my room.
He was ugly. Like horse ugly. But he was built for power, not for speed.
ok perfect im about to bedazzle our mini keg named hans. he is ready to rage
he has decreed that i can sleep with anyone who has the same name as him. line up all the toms
I never thought that it would get to the point where I would have to specify that by "hang out" I meant "fuck like rabbits." Growing up shouldn't be this way.
He woke up, yelled "RALLY!" and then puked in my glove compartment
I really shouldn't have to tell you to stop banging your lightsaber on everything while we are in college.
You will drink beer in a kiddie pool in your back yard but you wont bring a girl home
Got drunk tryed walking 12miles to zacks house woke up at noon on baseball park
Randomize
