I saw her while sober, and she is definately cut off from the penis ride
just walked by a lingerie store, the sign out front, "Specials for Father's Day", in no way is that just not wrong.
I don't think I can handle being a slut. There is a lot more emotional stress that I never realized.
The entire time I'm blowing him she's in the back seat lecturing me on the reasons why you're not suppose to do that while they're driving...
Dude it started out with let's find some food and ended up with me getting a needle in the face
I spent most of the night trying to drink out of three bottles of beer at once. I don't have to be told the reasons I'm single
Pretty sure the shower sex fucked up my hip alignment... im walking like im 104 today
I'm like still hungover from the quinceanera.
And then the templeton police were like "oh I remember her, yeah the blue haired girl that we picked up cause she was passed out drunk on the side of the road"
Like will they card me for my own whiskey in shampoo bottles?
Just in case the world ends tomorrow, I have an emergency contact group of booty calls I can send a quick "let's fuck" to before I die.
She said she didn't know what fireball was. We are no longer friends.
Please tell your sister I apologize about saying her baby may have beef curtains. That was inappropriate.
Good friends chat about sex - great friends ask about safe words.
When you didn't respond I figured you must be busy so I'm home in my pj's 2 beers in and stoned from weed I got from my gaybours. They also gave me cake. I'm not moving from this recliner.
Randomize
