I'm bringing poparts in case anyone gets hungry. The trek to frat row is strenuous.
My friend just ordered a beer and poured it on the floor in celebration of open bar night
Apparently suggesting that she was the kind of girl who might be expected to kill someone's pets hurt her feelings...
I'm off the liquor
You're forefathers are ashamed of you. They didn't struggle to make it to America so that you could become a soft dick
I wanna introduce you to my balls, Thunder and Lightning.
Okay I shall begin. Thank you Swedish chef
Hurrfy smmurdshy burrfst!
That is the exact response I was looking for.
My landlord showed my apartment to a prospective tenant today and I had my vibrator and gun both chilling on my nightstand
I know I've wanted to fuck him for the past month, but when you're that hungover, the only chemistry you have is with a pillow and a gallon of water.
Well I woke up and my arm was bleeding. And my blood is on the wall in the hallway.
Umm
No idea. I blame fireball.
Valid.
I can not be a lesbian living on Beaverland.
Did you leave ur panties in the sink?
Kitchen or bathroom?
Like these jerks could have told me it wasn't a video call, I wouldn't have put on pants.
How did I end up in some random dudes car?
Some guy came up to you and asked if you knew how to drive stick.
And my butt misses you like the deserts miss the rain.
Do u believe in the possibility of big foot?
You high??
Randomize
