just googled chastity belt to see if it really exist..
They're giving me a hotel, and this chick doesn't have a place to stay for the night... I swear this is how real life Porno starts.
there really is only one way to give a PowerPoint presentation in your senior capstone class: still drunk.
I think his parents are learning english from the phrases I shout during sex.
I taped Calvin and Kyles heads together face to face while they were passed out. You should have seen them stumbling around using hungover teamwork trying to find scissors.
Just bought a disco ball for 5 dollars, of course we're drinking tonight.
He had a cowboy hat I don't know where from and he was trying to lasso a snowman with a dog leash.
Okay well someone asked "IS HE HOMELESS?" about me so I need to try and find somebody.
I just bared my soul to you and you fell asleep. Or you're fucking your boyfriend. Either way, not cool. fuck.
There is booty call etiquette, and he just isn't following it. I'm not making you breakfast, gtfo.
You are a piece of meat with a side of awesome to me.
I'm jealous that you can use my boobs as pillows & I can't.
I was super proud of him for making a mature relationship decision, and then I remembered that he cheated on her. With me.
She sent me a pic wearing only my batman cape. She stole my cape dude!
Dude! We had to write our address on your arm in permanent marker so you wouldn't get lost. You just showed the cabbie your arm and he drove you! Nice guy.
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