I've decided through careful research we can out drink any country folk.
It's American, baby! There ain't nothin gross about America.
margarita scented body wash shouldn't be used the morning after cuervo. there should be a warning on the label.
Stalkers don't have time for showers...it's a full time job
Dubbing lion king over planet earth. That stoned.
I'm really sorry we tried to have sex on top of you last night.
i love that youre following in my footsteps.. pissing yourself on your birthday is an honor and a privlege
My stepdad and I just tag-team hit on a server at McDonald's. This is the man I should have grown up with.
She judged ME for picking my nose when SHE has the clap.
I'm eating captain crunch out of a cup half full of beer so idk
Is it bad that I've been making new friends through your vagina networking? I don't think so
Only time and a comprehensive case study of all of your relationships will tell.
man fuck you i am a delight. you're the one who fucking set his tree on fire while high
I pretended to be blind and he pretended to be my assistant and long story short, we had to buy that bra and panty set, and now we're both banned from Victoria's Secret AND I have a cum stained demi cup.
You claimed that someone else had vomited underneath you/on your hand
you were very insulted that we didn’t believe you that someone else vommed
Randomize
