i just had sex. the condom broke. we're sleeping in to separate beds. And im in albany
Definitely locked eyes with the stripper who gave me a lapdance last night as she walked by me and into the Ann Taylor Loft in Times Square.
if i hurry i can finally have sex while stoned off my ass
godspeed.
I am at a striph cluv. They are ovealls everywhere. I have hot rock botto.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I should just wear a shirt that says "Im Sorry" on the front because the second we land in Vegas, I'm going to be a fuckin trainwreck.
I'm a 23 year old virgin. I've masturbated in ways you can't even imagine.
At home depot. Final room inspection is tmrow, gotta paint over the puke stains
She got a digital picture frame for her birthday. FINALLY - a place for me to sneak all those penis shots I've taken with my iPhone.
You did this to me with your delicious pizza and moonshine.
I'll forgive you once we're drunk again by noon.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
OH. MY. GOD. FUCK HIM. JUST GRAB HIM AND FUCK HIM.
I promised myself in the hospital that I would give up drinking for however long the cast stayed on. Thank god it was only soft tissue and not a fracture.
If you've never yelled, "fuck you ray Lewis" in front of your 87 year old grandfather you haven't lived
You were cuddling with an eight iron and I was eating a fajita completely ignoring your presence.
His dick is a skeleton key. It fits everywhere.
It's only awkward the first ten minutes you realize it's not your house.
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