I've never seen the starbucks guy more terrified than when you dove out the car window after your credit card
All he wants to do is masturbate while I sit there with my big toe up his ass that is not even the worst part of it.
The fact that he is from Canada is way more embarrassing than the fact that you met him on match.com
I cant feel my face. Like I dont even know if I have one. I wish I had a helmet
I think that last shot was nyquil. Please come gte me. WINGS.
He was all like, "I've prayed every single day just for one more night with you."
Omg just give him a quick handy and walk out.
Let's just do a victory lap through all of our exes.
I consented to having my finger branded. How was your night?
A place where it's acceptable to show body parts is not a good place for me to be.
He turned down head in favor of a handjob. Not sure if he's crazy or i have magic hands
Well, I was asked to leave the Waffle House for "being to physical" so I think that option is off the table
They had like literally all the dildos. It looked like a seance for dick. I left the apartment and haven't been back.
I didn't even respond. Just letting the crazy settle before I calmly fuck his shit up.
The Olympian is in my bed
He asked if we were going to take advantage of his drunken state. When we said no he tired to show us what we were missing out on. It was so sad it almost made him cute.
Randomize
