i threw up in over 4 different places last night. it was like a world tour
i think of them as a grilled chicken salad and a fried chicken biscuit. obviously Amy is better for me, but when i'm eating her all i can think about is how much better the blonde must taste.
She got a digital picture frame for her birthday. FINALLY - a place for me to sneak all those penis shots I've taken with my iPhone.
No it's cool, He's been doing my English papers in exchange for lap dances since the eleventh grade. We're very professional.
I just had to dig under a pile of condoms in my desk drawer to get to a blue book. Summer is officially over.
They're letting me teach a freshman-laden class now. This university needs better background checks.
I've been trying to brush my teeth for 20 mins now... Mother of hangovers.
Like really my mothers day gift is a pic of his dick
Drinking loves me for WHO I am
This is what you sent me from the other side of the pool, "Idk but thers a pool n l wanna get naked take off my trunks ill paddle with my dick"
Mom got high last night and started crying because she feels bad for Paula Deen. This is my family.
Is drinking before noon still a bad idea if you invent an amazing cocktail?
What's life without a pregnancy scare?
I'm in the Sheetz parking lot waiting for dad to finish a drug deal.
I'm too horny to sleep. I need some violent sex to wind me down.
Randomize
