a/c is broke at work...just took my panties off at my desk and the janitor saw it...might have a date for later. let you know
Do vagina's smell?
It's just like the Real World with babies
No, don't worry. We're not going to get THAT arrested.
i dont want to stoop that low. but my dick does.
I've decided I'm either going to ease him into this breakup by having a threesome with him and the girl I'm leaving him for, or be brutal and fuck his room mate. it depends how nice he is tonight.
I could write a book on how to barely get by in community college. I just took an online quiz on my phone, at the bar, 6 minutes before it was due.
How do you not remember?? She kept putting a dollar on her waistband and insisting it was all you can eat under a dollar
Party Liz is going to have to have her wings clipped until someone gets me some baby reins to wear
Holding a cold bottle of mikes hard lemonade against my pulverized taint....this is my Sunday night
I feel like I got run over by a bus full of inebriated Scotsmen on the way to a soccer riot.
I ended up snorting coke while wearing a Bavarian dress and I feel like I need to reevaluate my life
You can cuddle me. Word on the street is my ass is ridiculous.
Yah. I'm gonna lay you down and feed you grapes, except I'm gonna replace grapes for my balls
She shit herself again. We're calling her the "Queen of Sharts".
Randomize
