I only want to know people that are dynamic intelligent and totally insane
I just farted in the dogs face to show him who's boss
i say over christmas we have a beer pong competition with the cousins and see who really has the best genes in the family.
dude all my bootycalls are going to Eclipse tonight... Do I really want it that bad?
he said he has something really important to tell me but isn't ready yet. It's either that he loves me or has herpes
What are the signs of a concussion? Please don't freak out.
Desperately trying not to throw up over the side of the ferry back to CT. Can't be the first one of the season.
Dont be alarmed when you find the maintenance guy passed out on your couch. I didn't to explain why I was there so I offered him a drink, I dont know what happened after that.....
I swear to god if he wasnt on the fourth floor balcony and I wasn't to drunk to climb I would kill him
She tried to beat the waitress over the head with a bread stick because one of her martini olives was missing a pimento. All while screaming "IT'S GAMEDAY BITCH"
Olive Garden will never be the same.
That bar is one yeast infection away from total annihilation.
me + whiskey = a bad person
Well, he asked what my sign was, then proceeded to critique me on my beer pong stance... I really need to raise my standards.
I woke up naked and you weren't here. What a relief.
Currently watching high school football on ESPN. Drink every time they say 'this kid's got potential' or 'look at this kid go' or 'atta kid' We're done for..
Randomize
