Skipping work because i'm still too drunk from last night still. got home at midnight and passed out in front of my door for 2 hours bc i couldn't find my key
had to call my rooommate to let us in. Passed out in my dress and found the key on my hair tie-in my hair- just now.
wtf someone played my fucking brickbreaker games and lost i had ten fucking lives. ughhh
maybe you did when you were drunk
no way, i wasn't THAT drunk.
Oh please, I could turn a Vienna Boys Choir concert into a shit show
let me put it this way. im never saying "join in or get out" again unless i know whos in the room.
He passed out so we kept throwing water on him, he got excited and asked if we were at the wave pool.
Hah, I lost the lenses in my glasses, didn't event notice til this morning... How was the meeting?
This text is addressed to sober me: getting drunk by yourself may have seemed like a Good idea at first bit it can tell you that it wasn't ad fun as you thought it would be
Ps your lap top bag is FULL of empty beets
The sex was so bad. I kept sending people snapchats of my face during it.
I put tequila in my salad dressing yesterday. Step the fuck up.
They ran out of toilet paper, so I had a girl rip down the streamers so I could wipe.
Omg this is like trying to sleep on a pile of ballsacks.
If someone told me one person in the department was secretly a death eater, I would suspect her, no contest.
Like when I see him I look straight through his appearance and just envision a big walking penis.
Well. Now I feel like I put pants on for nothing.
Oh shit that's not good dude. I'd head straight for Williamsport hospital the first ingredient in that shit is lithium batteries. You don't want to know what the second one is
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