thank you for a lively/lovely evening :)
should have blown me.
I looked up to you, until I saw her walk out of your room.
The bridesmaids just went smackdown on the floor, over the bouquet. I saw nipple. Best wedding ever
i like him when i'm sober AND when i'm drunk.i've been searching for this my whole life
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So you plan on doing double washing machine sex? Like. A double date. But with sex. On a washing machine..?
Talking to a male stripper. About the LSAT. Only in Vegas.
She was wasted talking to my dad about the hunger games than she passed out in the shower and flooded the hotel room...
When I see myself in tank tops and push up bras I seriously wonder why I'm not President.
Curdled. you forgot that word. It was a curdled buttery nipple shot.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
so at 3am I stumbled into my parents house and crawled into bed with them, I need to start dating.
Text me later if you aren't dead and wanna have a drink later
Please don't think I'm weird for texting you this at 12:08 am but I just found another picture on the Internet where I think you can see his dick through whatever he's wearing
He told us a story about a time his 80 year old uncle karate chopped a dick in a glory hole.
what are you getting to drink for new years?
well seeing as how i just got diagnosed with a uti, whatever we can mix with cranberry juice
There's a big ass bed, hella ecstasy, and I can guarantee you'll regret every second that you remember.
Randomize