you said youd get me home safely, you dropped me off at 9:30 last night and i just woke up on my porch.
ran into someone who graduated hs with us while i was paying for booze in quarters. i love it when people from my past catch me in my classier moments.
It's like the water temple from zelda. but with more tits.
I realized that I earned the name Classy cassie as i was throwing up vodka slushie in my bed with a guy I know by the name extacy boy
bitch so ugly she owes me an erection
He said we were driving the golf cart through the woods screaming 'iceroad truckers' for four hours in the dark
While at warped tour today a girl was crowd surfing and her vagina landed in my face, I call that a successfull day.
She went dumpster diving. Found flourescent light bulbs, carpet samples and $15. We got a bottle of Popov, played star wars and threatened random people with the carpet. Get on our level.
Dude how did you get resin on my keyboard?
I swear some just paged for more cock rings over the intercom.
I disagree, if your last name is Weiner then the sending of dick pics should be mandatory. I'd give him a pass.
they asked me about my neuroscience major and I said 'the brain is the outer space of the body' and passed out. it appears my ivy league education is not going to waste
I was looking at your nipple and it made me think of you
Well I hope so...
oh he pulled my dick out. wanna come over after he leaves
GET OFF YOUR PHONE
I just upped my southern womanhood. Taking whiskey and Kleenex pocket packs to the funeral.
Randomize
