There is a stranger person in my roommates bed...
why is it that no matter what your novelty license plate says it always screams "im a huge tool"?
We had sex in the bathroom. Then he told me I could watch him pee.
she gave me one of those friendship bracelets and said as long as I wore it it was like an all-access pass to her vagina
scarred for life. way too high and witnessed some chick give a dude head on the dance floor
Sometimes I wish I could open my skin and just take a little peek at my liver. You know, just to see if it's rotten yet or still perfect looking.
And in my birthday dress, with my friends, i peed on myself in line for the club. Still went in and partied. I remember pieces
Im sleeping in your bed. Sorry for the sand and the noise and the loud people. Im starving
Your blankets are not drunk friendly
I got shot at last night. Lesson about married chicks: learned.
You're fucking beautiful as shit and we should have loving sex...
There's a bus with a band full of dancing women in bras. I think I like it here.
That's the last time I get in a car with six rappers headed to god knows where.
The only reason I can fathom that you've been able to continue to date new people this long is that women continue to become of age each year, and the younger ones don't know any better.
She used my 100 Ways To Cope With Stress handout to wipe puke off her face
he put a condom on for a handjob WTF
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