You should have seen k-money last night. She was just hanging on to the toilet for half the night. By her fourth trip to puke, she started talking to it and was doing the voices for her and it. She kept saying "...we thank you for your continued business..." haha
We'll make it into fun. If I can make wii bowling into a drinking game, I can make studying spanish into a sex game.
All his texts have the signature of a date with a smile. I asked him what it means. IT'S THE DAY HE QUIT DOING DRUGS
you were on ground yelling about how close the floor was to your face.
Passing out during sex is actually quite pleasant. its like being rocked to sleep with a penis
My dealer threw in a "freestyle rap" today with my purchase. I dont know if I can handle this relationship.
No I'm done finals, but I'm not coming home until these hickeys are gone.
Apparently she was filling Miller Lite bottles with water because I refused to be seen drinking water in a bar
Woke up with a raging boner...good feeling abt this trial
Wow, nothing is more special than changing the channel and seeing the guy who groped you on Saturday night...
he was like "can i get a kiss" and i was like "can i get a taco"
I'm pmsing and only have one functional foot
You should have just fucked me in the bathroom when you had a chance!
so he found out i have him as "average size" in my phone. fair to say we arnt going to be dating anymore
I may or may not have been feeling patriotic and banged Captain America in a closet. SPOILER ALERT: We broke his shield
Randomize
