So yes it WAS her period, NOT a nose bleed.
What tipped you off? The sombrero?
I'm a 23 year old virgin. I've masturbated in ways you can't even imagine.
I keep waking up with the nagging feeling I gave him half a hand job through his shorts.
i was just offered a 40 day sex challenge. prepare for the best 40 days of your life.
oh. my. god. yes.
Grandma can hear your bong from the living room, please be more quiet. Love mom.
BECKY! ITS ANDY FROM LAST NIGHT WITH THE PILL
Andy, Sorry you have the wrong number. But good luck with Becky!
Just delivered a pizza to a holiday inn and a delivery driver from Me n Ed's walked up at the same time, we both were going to the same floor so we stood in the elevator making small talk about delivery stuff, but a small part of me wanted to deck him, stand over him and shout,"FOR THE HUT MOTHERFUCKER, FOR THE HUT!"
Jesus christ, don't start a pizza delivery gang war.
Dont judge the spank bank, just be happy that you were deposited there.
The only downside to doctor sex is that getting choked with a stethoscope leaves marks.
You must have my penis confused with someone else's...which is disappointing
Drug test isn't today. Now I'm just sitting in this orientation with a bag of your piss in my pants
Is there a reason why your pubic hair is a plastic bag on my bathroom floor? And yes I know its yours... You wrote your name on the bag
Well, I have no idea where my underwear is, so yea I would say it was a good weekend.
My EX’s roommate heard about the breakup and offered to help me bang it out. I think she hates her even more than I do.
Randomize
