Thanks for last night it was amazing as always
What are you talking about
You've got to be kidding me
Did you fuck her?
If by "fuck her" you mean "threw up on her shoes," then yes, I achieved that.
i wish there were pregnant emoticons
Deadliest Catch is NOT foreplay
you know it's bad when you need sunglasses to open the refrigerator
All i've done since I got back to my room today is take a three hour nap. Like, I even planned to change my pants and haven't even done that yet.
We had to go visit his dealer in the hospital to buy some weed.
Okay I can't even be mad, I'm in mid-plot to hook up with Michael Phelp's third cousin.
If his smile makes you freak out and drop things imagine what his penis could do
He asked if I had feelings for him while I was lying naked on the floor vomiting into a trashcan as he held my hair and fed me Pringles.
Yeah I don't remember how I got home last night
Judging from my pants, I embarrassed myself smh
How'd your Tinder date go?
Well, I met his girlfriend...
Lol yeah. Because I just woke him up to blow him for being hot.
That's it. I'm moving to LA & sitting on his face.
Relationship goals: we both wore red underwear tonight. Except he won’t know because my bra been off but it’s the thought that counts I guess.
Randomize
