I feel like sober is me a distant relative that I only see on christmas..
just brushed my teeth with a bottle of jack. ew. not all it's hyped up to be.
I've made out with men from every corner of the globe. Sex-wise, I've almost conquered europe. Take that napoleon
Dave a horae rider a coqw boy
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
rolled over to window for cup of snow instead of leaving bed for water. that's how hungover
Were gonna hotbox in the trunk. I think there's room for another half of a person if you're interested
This is the first time I have ever hoped it's poison ivy on my cock
Hahahahaha. That's what your stoned ass gets for eating half a bag of processed cheese at 2am.
I yelled at the dude who smoked him up "YOU'RE THE REASON I'M NOT GETTING LAID" then went to bed. So yeah, I guess it was an ok night.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
but I have boobs. I'm not going to buy my own drinks at the bar like some kind of fucking animal.
The zoom feature on snap chat videos is the worst thing to ever happen to sexting
...I just added shower water to my vodka on ice\n#sendhelp
if you go to jail tonight, call call me. i wanna get out of work
I got dominos and had to stop whilst eating and take a moment of silence for how good it was
Is she talking about a testicle cuff or just a cock ring? How did you meet this girl?
Is there a big difference?
It’s about the same as the difference between a night of drunken sex with a stripper at the Bellagio and being robbed and left for dead by a crystal meth tweaker
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