That girl would be great looking if she lost 1000 pounds and cut off her head.
you traded sex for a burrito?
Woke up in 100% not my clothes this morning. Third time this month. Fuck. Tequila.
It's great having no responsibilities. In normal life I would be freaking the fuck out right about now. But the only worry I have from last night is where i got this shower caddy full of cookies. God I love college.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I pretty much envision me eating a turkey leg whilst fucking you. I have priorities.
At one point I thought we were going to have to fuck our way out of their apartment
You know its been a rough night when for a large portion of the evening you have accepted your death
So maybe I got drunk and hooked up with him in a hot tub? I mean that's nothing to be ashamed of, that kind of takes talent. I'd drown.
I may or may not have pissed on my floor last night
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Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He says the sweetest things but also that he wants to choke me when we fuck so it's kinda perfect.
Well that didn’t go as expected.
I mean, it ended in you giving each of them a blowjob, so it kinda did.
It took like and hour to get him in me and then he came in like 2min. Size aint everything
Sorry I had sex in your backseat while everyone was in the car
It's quite alright. I found his shorts in my backseat, not sure what he was wearing when we dropped him off
I just deff did the walk of shame.. His roommate/manager woke us up. A dog scared me on my stumble to the car.
This is why I'm single.
it was like 6 shots in and he was automatically my type
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