It really wasn't that bad. Well, it was pretty bad, but only in 3 second bursts.
I can’t believe the potential orgy I left behind at Waffle House.
can someone explain to me why i woke up under a twister sheet
Just used a champagne bottle to outline a trigonometric circle for math 104.. should i give up on life now or later?
It's just like riding a horse. A very tall, gay horse.
I incognito puked under the VIP table. Did Jersey proud.
Its like every time I go out with you, it always involves Serbian chicks and taco bell and you always manage to get both all over my bed.
That was a $3000 rug we rolled him down the hill in.
I was only out of town for 1 week. His cell records show he texted 63 ex-gfs and hookups while I was gone. And 10 condoms are missing.
I am not betting on the failure of any friend that is not you.
just tried to scoop ice cream with a steak knife. now in the emergency room with a the cab diver and the drag queen he picked up on the way. its gonna be a loooong day.
going on a mission to find my pants and the guy who stole my beer don't wait up
honestly the most stressful part of moving is the chance my mom will find my vibrator
Unintionally got shitfaced at study group this week. The waitress brought out a fishbowl of long Island iced tea. Challenge accepted.
Mid thrust, say hold on I need a pic for my friend.
Randomize
