Maybe i shouldn't have told him the key to getting in my pants was double vodka sodas and Nelly's song "grillz."
It was as awful as eating cow testicles on fear factor and not winning and realizing you ate balls for nothing.
your idea of a balenced meal is a microwave frozen burrito, a cup of ramen noodles, and a can of budlight. honestly tell me how your resolution is to lose weight,
since i spend so many of my nights sleeping on the bathroom floor i think im going to remove all toiletries from under my sink and replace them with a pillow and blanket.
He ended up walking out of his bedroom and told me to look at the nonexistent fire he was holding in his hand. Im upset I didn't take those shrooms.
In less than 3 minutes we had 3 security guards running after us
His thanks his mom for not having an abortion at his wedding toast. I love frat weddings.
Just grabbing my bra from a history teacher's desk in the Humanities building. Maybe I should stop drinking on weeknights
I ate all his french fries. He was no longer useful to me.
I was worried he'd break you after the hiatus your lady parts had to take from social interaction.
i think ive crossed the line from sexually frustrated to sexually furious
Why do you hate her?
She's dating the best penis that has ever entered my vagina.....
I decided it might be a good time to stop when he requested I "bring that pussy over here"
At least you didn't have a hemorroid rupture while banging
I gave him one of my famous hand jobs.
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