i asked him how he could stand the smell of skunk. his answer was "it smells like good weed"...
Sign #1 that I'm not ready to be a mother: I'm shopping for "maternity fishnets".
great! i almost saw a gas station fight, and i believe i became the first person to successfully pee and puke in a bathtub simultaneously
who has that picture of us looking like alcoholics at the zoo?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she's a kindergarten teacher now. The teacher desks are the perfect height for fucking. I'm delaying the break up a few weeks.
Excellent idea. Nothing says "congrats for resurrecting yourself, Jesus" like Greygoose at noon!
Can you please reassure him im not a scary or intimidating person? And that really my entire life is a series of completely ridiculous events that have led me here?
I have a cat, a bottle of wine, and a Brazilian man. I need to catch you up on my life
Nothing is worse than post drunken playoff baseball loss sex
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
HAPPY AIDS-LESS FOURTH OF JULY YOU HEALTHY FUCK
Best case scenario you died and I melt into poo
My mom has tinder, she is 45 and has her age setting at 18-29. And she still gets more matches than me
Next time you decide to post pictures of yourself in your underwear on facebook, please don't tag me as your bulge.. My mom spent 10 minutes looking for me in that picture. I had to tell her I was hiding.
Our Uber driver pulled over to show us Tinder some dick pics. Top that.
Get to the bar now. Ryan is single again and every skank on campus that has heard story about his dick is circling like a shark. A cock hungry shark
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