Courtney? Is that you? I have pictures of this very same night.
do you know anything about the $5 bill with my name stapled to it in my purse??
apparently i found nail polish and started playing a game i made up called "paint a nail, do a shot"
3 girls crying in the bathroom at the bar. Its like a Christmas song
Im only pretending to be his friend so I can sleep with his girlfriend.
Wow. A quad shot of peppermint schnapps. I feel like I just deep throated a candy cane. Best 21st ever.
Dude, I just had the best sex of my life in a porta potty at the NCAA girls lax championships but didn't get her name or number. But I have her sunglasses. How is this possible, I'm sad.
I love your life.
We should totally stay in at new years, have sex and try to time orgasm to the countdown
I've been eating like all day, let me suffer my one 'Dear lord, I'm the size of a small whale. One that doesn't even need to find being killed by illegal whaling because I'm not even big enough to provide an decent blubber, but still big enough to be considered for a brief moment.' moment in peace.
I'm so upset I left my sombrero at the expo center
Egg rolls and cum. Not my worst snack.
He just flipped the beer pong table and set the ceiling fan on fire things are about to get crazy
So this morning when I woke up. I found my refrigerator open and no more food. It was empty, I'm home alone for the week. Where in hell did that food go?
I'm drunk and kinda wanna go home but now I have to go have more sex, my boxers are in the dryer
for future reference, singing eye of the tiger outside my door while i am having sex makes me incredibly uncomfortable
apparently not uncomfortable enough for you to stop
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