Oh man dude like 1000 to 1500 milligrams. Its gonna burn like bad though.
I'm putting on too much make up bc I'm stoned
All i remember was he was wearing billibong pants... well actually my mom found that out for me.
On the one hand, she would be the biggest mistake of my year. On the other hand, she's here and drunk.
Pretty sure I saw a dude across the room give this girl the international hand gesture for "I'm going to fist you later", she seemed ok with it.
Do you remember that time on the drunk bus when I kept thanking the bus driver for serving our country?
Come over and play the Jeter 3000 drinking game. You drink if the commentators say "captain" or "3000". I'll drink if they say "overrated" or "past his prime".
They invented the twister shot game. You put a shot on each circle, take it when you land on it, and if you fall, they funnel the mat and make you drink it. New best friends.
There was a gay guy in drag passed out against the wall but we had sex in there anyway.
Getting sick, pulled the filter off a camel crush and rolled it into my joint to clear my sinuses. If there were stoner awards, I'd receive one.
Like, what's the customary waiting period to hookup with your newly single ex that you never stopped hooking up with?
I'll text you later. I think she thinks we're taking this whole "no sex" thing seriously.
The way I kissed her was actually pretty charming and then it devolved to car sex
You yell at me for being attracted to older guys and you're over here condoning murder
we had to take 10 shots sometime before midnight, then 11 shots between midnight and 1. so yes its gonna be a rough day.
Randomize
