As soon as he told me I had a 'pretty laugh' I knew I'd be putting out more than I had originally planned.
if theres anything i pride myself on, its my ability to look homeless.
and i'm going to kill you for what you did to my nipples last night. of course i want to hang out
He said he wanted to go to France " just to piss in the nice areas". I want to fuck him.
Did you just reference Ludacris during my possible pregnancy scare of 2012?!
can't blv i tried using a "backpack" as a unit of measurement...i drank a lot of beer last night
The maintenance guy asked for a box to stand on to reach the ceiling. All I could offer him was a keg.
Just to prove a point, she called and ordered a pizza 10 min before she ordered the blow and it still got here first. I may never leave LA.
I told you!!! And that is why he's the drug dealer to the stars.
So his roommate walked in on us, went upstairs to tell her bf she has found a new use for the rafters & they must try it.
she keeps a switchblade in her panty drawer... i am both terrified and slightly turned on
Let's knock shit down like godzilla and have intense sex in the rubble
I'm high. ignore me
Nah, I was done when the Big Pun lookalike began to sob and tell me I looked like his ex...
So you can text and rub it at the same time? Bravo.
I can do anything and masturbate, if I truly wanted to.
i can eat my weight in tater tots. don't test me, bitch
UGH I HATE BEING THIS WAY IM GOING TO GO HUG THE CACTUS YOU GOT ME
Randomize
