on a scale of one to ten, how awkward would it i told him i had to go change my tampon and then left?
11
I thouht it was time to go to sleep and suddenly I was front row on brokeback mountain
I envy you so much. I get girls who pee on my floor and you get girls who leave in the middle of the night
She came to college a virgin and left on court order. We ruined her.
Went to anytime fitness at 3:34 am drunk after the the bar and getting whataburger. Lifted weights with my cheeseburger between my knees. That's called DEDICATION.
I let a guy with dreads drive my car, then demanded he take me back cause I don't let strangers drive my car, while repeatedly apologizing for being a cock block.
She literally got down on all fours and I swear did a 360 degrees head rotation exorcist barf...and then moaned IT WAS THE TACO BEEEELLLLLL
so no, not her best night
Another day, another engagement, another cat
my question is who was more confortable? You sleeping on the floor or me tweeting from a bush?
I'm naked, I'm drunk, and I'm all up on social media right now
The bend and snap? 98% success rate of getting attention. When used appropriately, it has an 83% rate of return on a dinner invitation.
Just go read my twitter... There's a play by play. It starts with a penis pump
Giiirrrllll. Back to back snaps of dicks. Two different guys sent me their dick at the same time. This is totally what our founding fathers meant with life, liberty, and the pursuit of happiness.
They weren't kidding when they said "Go Army Strong." Best sex I ever had.
Ever been to a strip club with one stripper? I have. And she sucked.
Randomize
