so i told him i still liked him. he laughed
well, your crazy. what did you expect?
Lesbians. Lesbians everywhere.
you just knocked on the window of the ambulance and waved at me as we drove away
Nah the bridesmaids all had dates. I slept with the next best thing: girl who WANTED to be a bridesmaid but didnt make the cut.
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...And then you kept screaming "cock mouth" in her face every time she tried to talk.
don't worry about it. We passed around the "get jeff bail" can 10 min. After you left. We currently have around $400. May I say that people here at the dorms really love you.
laying on floor next to bathroom with vent on to give myself comfort and remind me that im not going deaf. what did i smoke?
So he says "my girlfriends coming over so you have to leave but I love you"
I'm just gonna pretend you didn't ask me that. I'll sweep that shattered moment of our friendship under the shame rug.
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Also, I just realized you seduced me while in a batman onesie... Well done, sir. Well done.
although steph and I had 3 bottles of wine by that point and watched an opera that featured a black dildo so anything was possible really
You yelled "Everybody!!! Round of applause to Jill for not doing anal!!" Right in front of him.
It's been two whole weeks and I haven't missed a single class. I deserve 69 blunts.
Just Peed in a cup for my country. Fighting the good fight.
Had to take him to the ER for not only alcohol poisoning but for stepping on a firecracker. Happy 4th holy fuck