i just realized i put more money and effort into 420 then i did for christmas
I'm also annoyed at my horoscope for not warning me of my perils
best. trip. ever. this is going to be too much fun. petland isnt going to know what hit them.
is it possible that there's a used condom holding pennies in my bra? I'm so confused on what happened last night...
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Only thing I got out of his drunken Spanish is something that sounded like "pencil sharpener." Damn rosetta stone.
I puked in a solo cup and then offered it to him. So yeah, it was a rough night.
I'm drunk in your building find me and we can have sex.
I put chex mix in your purse for when you get hungry while doing your walk of shame tomorrow!
this dude, we had a connection. he kept smiling at me. it's like he knew i was gonna facebook stalk the fuck out of him
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I puked so hard this morning that I peed my pants. I'm a gem.
Nothing says I love you as your fiancé bringing back home your drunk brother from his own stag party
Im part way to drunk.
He brought over a bottle of tequila and a box of donuts with the Plan B, so I guess you could say things are getting pretty serious.
Well, I turned down sex again. This is guy #5 in the past 2 weeks. My vagina is going to seek emancipation.
All I have in my purse is 10 cents and a plastic ducky.\nI can't explain last night.
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