that's when I learned why R Kelly peed on that bitch
I just hope this isn't happening Final Destination style
Travis Barker would totally be Devon Sawa in this scenario
whatever it's my dick and i'll put it wherever i want
I'm not going to fuck him in his Honda Fit. That's gay.
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Its that time of year where we just drink more instead of dressing warmer
He is the Donovan McNabb of stuff up his ass. Tell me that tomorrow. Too high to remember.
One fish gets drugged and suddenly I'm labeled a bad pet owner. This is so unfair.
She sucked my dick while i watched james bond. And they say marriage sucks
I would not wish his dick upon my worst enemy
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He fucked me so hard I had an asthma attack. I'm like the sickly poster child for celibacy.
Wait is it okay if I still want to fuck the whole USA swim team or is that only acceptable during the Olympics?
Oh thank Jesus fuck for my shitty infertile womb. Crisis averted
I'm sorry, you might have to start setting aside some time in your day for my pussy.
I don't know, I kept pretending that I was riding an elephant during. It was actually really fun, but you can't tell him that!
He sent me a dick pic. I am fighting the urge to send him a "sorry for your loss" card.