She thinks she is all that and a bag of skittles but I'm definitely not tasting the rainbow...
I always feel awkward when im sitting at home watching the price is right and the fat contestant get the gym equipment.
planned parenthood is perfect for picking up chicks...they all put out
I hope he's okay, but I also hope he shows up with an eyepatch
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Only your wife would write 'for deposit only' on the back of that $1500 check knowing full and well our capabilities of spending it on strippers and booze
I'm standing in line at the liquor store and they're making popcorn.
Do you want the something i can tell my mom in ten year version or the you're gonna call me a whore but be proud version?
We are lost and the only things we have are peanut brittle, cookies and vodka. I think we'll make it.
Yeah. He can't come because his mom found the pizza box under his bed with my underwear in it. He acted confused, guess because i forgot to tell him..
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
All you need to do now is invest in a Speedo and start going door to door.
New low. Just realized I hooked up with a guy from Grindr in the hallway of a building my great grandfather used to own..
Is there a polite way to say "Sorry for your head injury but I still want to hook up"?
a guy messaged me on POF to ask if I knew of any places that were hiring. And was being completely deadass serious. I'm so done
Which emoticons convey sympathy for sleeping with someones bf ??
When i was leaving for work this morning, i realized the neighbor was passed out drunk, with no pants, and a half eaten whopper on my lawn. Knowing that hey..we have all been there before.. i decided to give him a pillow and a blanket rather than wake him up.
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