We had two amazing nights in a row...it was so weird...I couldn't even go to sleep cause I thought maybe it was just in his plot to kill me.
What I dont get about To Catch a Predator is who the fuck still uses chat rooms?
i told him i was gay. he said that gay guys are supposed to be pretty.
NEWSFLASH - my freind is drunk and admitted that he hates having sex with dogs. should i help him or let him be??
He also left me a wonderful voice mail..... and is now asking me where the planters peanut guy is.
You should probably go find him.
Stay Away From These 29 Online Dating Red Flags
I woke up to him climbing naked through my bedroom window with a bottle of jd in his hand. Of course I had sex with him.
She checked into foursquare right as she left work so he would think she was there late and not on some other guy's dick
I have to say for barely passing high school, that girl is a genius.
She is putting glow sticks from her bedroom to the bathroom. She is calling it 'Being prepared'. God help us all tonight...
I miss the days of selfishly blowing a load in the condom without her knowing and acting all like "we shouldn't do this" so she would get dressed and leave.
Whiskey and I have a long and stories tradition of excellence
21 Rideshare Drivers Had to Drive These NSFW Passengers
Well I can't go home with anyone tonight bc I stuffed my bra
Nothing says Panama City like condoms washing up on the shore.
Also, you need to stop getting hammered and taking showers with people.
This electrician is just ripping my house apart and I'm too hungover to ask questions
He's slurring his text. I didn't think that was possible.
Literally the fucking master of salvaging the possibility of a blow job whilst also crushing somebody's dreams.