I just saw grafitti that read "Mug The Fart Eater". Really, Memphis? That's all you've got?
I think I get why guys like boobs so much. I just motorboated myself and it's fun. My boobs feel soft and squishy on my face.
dude, it should not be this hard to find a bottomless mimosa on a friday morning
Just woke up with three stitches in my left boob. Nevertheless, I think I'm going to like this school.
21 Ladies Confess The Grossest Things They Do When No One’s Around
complete strangers are now referring to me as 'the bourbon guy.' i can live with this.
she made out with a stripper. how was scrabble night with your girlfriend
I need you to come over. Im crying, day drinking and working out simultaneously.
Registered sex offender is the model in class today.... There are too many things wrong with him getting naked in front of a lot of college students.
... They left for 10 minutes and came back with a lobster he's in the toilet downstairs
23 Tweets I Thought Were Really Funny When I Was Drunk Yesterday
Congratulations!! You are the WINNER of a brand new BLOWJOB!! You can collect your prize between the hours of 12pm and 1pm today, anywhere you'd like!!! :)
YOU STOLE THE WEDDING CAKE?!?!
Only one tier
Tastes like cardboard anyway
Moral of the story is go have sex with a foreigner and report back to me.
No it's only my right leg that feels like it's about to fall off. The left is fine.
Are you done yet? I've eaten three corndogs so I'm ready 2 party.
look, my penis is an amusement park, and it's closed for maintenance. why can't you just accept that?