Bel-fucking-mar, this place has more popped collars than a Hollister catalog
dude! the alphabet song and twinkle twinkle little star are like the same tune
what drug did you take to come to that conclusion??
I hate having morals and standards the next morning.
I just farted in the dogs face to show him who's boss
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Just saying. If you end up in canada tomorrow morning at least youll have my text to remind you how it happened
Quick question... Why were there condoms frozen into ice cubes?
If you're trying to piece together your night, I can tell you where those tassels came from.
Every fourth of July I get sentimental when I think back to the one where we drove around baked off our asses crashing multiple cookouts listening to Team America's "America, Fuck Yea" on repeat. I miss us.
He was fucking her while he was wiping my tears.
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The bartender said he wanted to turn you gay, and we got free shots the rest of the night
remember how i yelled at you for inviting that coke dealer to the party?! i found the $100 bill they were snorting with in the couch.
..new slutty dresses or booze? i won't even waste time with the i told you so.
I don't think I can look at him the same way anymore after he walked in my room wearing a short skirt with a boner.
Turning 21 will be slightly bittersweet. Never again will I be able to get underage drunk at Disney World, now I'll only be able to get legal drunk and that just sets a whole different and sad tone for my life.
dude girls our age are getting married and having babies and I still can't figure out how to defrost my hotpockets
Getting free blow from a total stranger, who asked permission to stroke my eyebrows, was the highlight of my evening out. Also, I have a new cuddle dealer.