I don't know how to say this, but I think you're a fucking bitch and the sooner you die I'll be happier.
Sorry- wrong number! :)
Are you seriously picking mariokart over a blowjob? nott to sound like a bitch but seriously?
If a Romanian girl's marriage isn't considered legal in the US then she's fair game right?
He insisted on us having sex while watching the biggest loser and asked me if I could "resist the temptation".
she called for a booty call so i sent mike as my stunt double
No really tho I'm wearing a chucky cheese shirt and yoga pants. If that doesn't scream no sex idk what does
You just stood up, raised your glass and said, "I'd like to thank the academy" then fell through a glass table. THAT'S why we cut you off.
I just don't wanna be that girl with no ride and no pants
I don't know what she looks like but I'm pretty sure she has a pussy.
I found a 9 minute video on my phone of you singing into an eggplant.
Pussy, Peanut Butter Cookies,and Bubble Wrap
i feel like i shouldn't just had to send a text that said "no i will not eat your ass"
Not to make this awkward, but if we ever have sex (perhaps drunkenly), all i'm gonna be able to think about is how sexy our kids would be.
Was picked up in the middle of a bar full of people...apparently I'm not tall enough to reach for drunken makeouts. I'm proud of myself.
You know. You being in a happy healthy relationship is REALLLYY cutting into our drinking alone together time.
Randomize
