What's everyones problem with my costume?!
It looks like a unicorn came on your face.
well you haven't lived until you've been 86'ed from a family restaraunt
Of course I'm hard in the pics. If there's a chance that these pictures will cause a scandal later in my life I at least want my dick to look it's biggest
We should bet how many people are going to get alcohol poisoning next weekend and whoever wins gets a free Starbucks.
Thank God I didn't lose my virginity to that asshole. That woulda been like winnin a raffle ticket for a free bag of dog shit. But with like a really pretty bag. A pretty bag full of dog shit.
Okay! I've got my sketchbook, my purse, my coat, and a knife hidden in my cleavage. I'm ready for to meet my blind date~
Would you mind pretending to be lesbians just for like three emails?
I have tan lines from my nipple rings.
Maybe the problem is guy has to ask his wife if he can go out to lunch with his girlfriend for an hour...
My inner pteradactyl is also confused.
I told her to not worry about it. Lone Star is an excellent first trimester beer.
MY INSIDES ARE BASICALLY BEING WRUNG BY A CHAINSAW IM NEVER TAKING PLAN B AGAIN
I NEED A MOM FRIEND. NOW.
The girl in the hotel room next to us walked out at the same time as me this morning. She just shook her head, looked at me and said, "faker." Is it that easy to tell?!??
I’m torn. She’s crazy - like legitimately “Wear your skin as a suit” crazy. But her blow jobs and dirty talk are Pornhub quality!
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