If you had to guess, would you say that as a species, midgets are more or less flammable than humans?
Less. Duh. They have less combustible mass.
Sandwiches eeeeeeverywhere.
It was like a drunk episode of Dora the Explorer. In English.
I like to use the word "seasoned" over "slutty", you know, like a good curly fry
I could tell by the way he was holding my hand that he really liked you
"Guy Time" translaed into 10 shots apiece and me waking up covered in my own blood.
then my gynecologist said "its like opening up buried treasure"
I never want to hear the words unlimited shots for boobs in the same sentence ever again.
I haven't found him passed out in the living room covered in noodles for a while now so I guess he's getting better with the drinking.
If life deals in absolutes, the in betweens are the most hairy.... Fortune cookie wisdom from a stoned Megan.
Preparing for the bar exam has made my whatever disorder you said I have act up again
Her ass is the reason I still believe in a higher power
GETTING HORNY AT RANDOM IS REALLY FUCKING INCONSIDERATE.
dad is drunk and texting us pictures of bread
Sorry, was sleeping. I heard a rumor that I had a hangover, so I just went with it...
Randomize
