Yeah and Nick is shooting his loaded 9mm in his backyard.
Two kids are drinking pounders in class. I think I'm hanging out with the wrong group of friends.
my professor just said "the power of the situation"
drink
Your maid of honor is passed out in a golf cart on the 18th hole.
Come to me. Jacob is confessing his love and all I want is a hot dog. With chili. Not love.
She's popping painkillers like they're tic tacs and singing the soundtrack to dreamgirls. It's you're turn to babysit her.
Yes. No, I'm basically a superhero but with drugs. I'm robin hood. I steal from the rich (insurance and drug companies) and give to the poor (everyone I know).
Just pulled a Kenny Powers on a snowmobile
Also, I would just like to reiterate my apologies for tearing up in the grocery store.
I just love it. It's warm and soft and the rest of the world is so mean. My bed would never be mean to me
I just got the two most enjoyable things in life in one... Weed delivered in bubble wrap.
I'm sure nobody at Walmart was wondering why I was wearing a glittery tutu and needed $300 changed into small bills
I know they deliver ice cream, but do you think I can ask the delivery guy to watch the rest of the movie with me too?
I think I was high. I asked a dude at chillis if they had a cereal buffet
If I say I hate myself for it does it make it any better?
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