My relationship with VH1 is so bittersweet
Just joined the godiva rewards club. Who's the fat friend now.
First lesson of the year: don't close the bar on mondays
Well, I washed his beard with dish soap and then I fucked him three times.
Using all my books as packing buffer for my liquor bottles. And you said being an English major was worthless.
This guy on Hoarders just said "we're all about 4 or 5 decisions away from shitting in a bucket". True dat
Nothing says "First Single Holidays" quite like getting baked with the guy that took your virginity four years ago.
IDK MAYBE BC I WOKE UP IN AN AIRPORT WITH A ONE WAY TICKET TO LONDON
Dude, if that was the MLB player I think it was leaving your bedroom this morning please tell me you got his autograph. It could pay the rent for like six months.
I may be asexual, but I owe you a solid from yesterday. I am a man of my word.
Hell no. Last time I used a Slip N Slide I ended up with bruised ribs, a broken fence and the hatred of a half naked girl with a sprained wrist.
Going overboard is basically 75% of my personality
I'm a gorgeous hot mess
Is there a single word to describe 'the last guy she slept with before meeting her husband'? Cause there should be.
Woke up with a pineapple again... where do i keep on getting these ??
I legit measured his penis against my chapstick and it was too close to call. So that was my night.
Randomize
