There was a fist fight in my basement last night at four in the morning, in case you were wondering
so high. i feel like my whole body is a boner
i don't know how to normally transition into sexual activities without being drunk...
let me put it this way. im never saying "join in or get out" again unless i know whos in the room.
The hospital said it would be 'irresponsible' for them to allow people to book stomach pumps.
I don't even want to think what you did to boys being that drunk and horny.
Then I wouldn't suggest looking at the pictures from last night.
She's doing shots in her underwear, a fur hat and mittens. I'm never coming home.
If you can get laid in a rudolph onesie you are doing something right my friend.
He just texted me saying "you've got a face that suggests you give really good head". Is this a compliment? Do I say thanks?
As he was cumming he yelled "Yahtzee" then said im free to go. Thats my one night stand
I think I've been inadvertently participating in a contest to see how many times I can show up to work hungover in my first year of teaching. And I'm the only participant. Not sure if I'm winning or losing.
I woke up with clothes on this morning and I'm pretty sure you had something to do with that. Thank you.
He's a fucking ninja- think of the things he can probably do with his dick.
I am at a cat party and I just witnessed people lapping vodka out of a bowl for a contest. Lol
I turn 40 next week. I deserve to celebrate the end of my 30’s with a 21 year old dick
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