we're blogging at a bar
im drinking this country out of the recession.
I'm youtube-ing children's choirs. Am I adorable? Or am I a child predator?
Predator. Straight up.
So I've come to the conclusion that I would cry if I had an ugly baby.
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Getting drunk now, but later remind me to tell you how to crash an 8th grade grad party.
Yeah I think we tried to use the shower curtain as a parachute because its tied to my backpack with some string. Dont know if anyone actually attempted it though.
She was sitting there stuffing her face rubbing my back with a dorito cheese filled hand while eating something else with the other hand as I was crying.
Please delete that video of me blowing you. I will repay you with 100 blowjobs even better than the one I gave you during that video. Please. I am gonna be a grandma one day.
I had to show the prof your text saying that I could pick up your midterm for you. I covered the part of the screen saying you weren't there because you were about to have morning choke sex.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm sorry but you're choosing a girl that faked a pregnancy when you wouldn't return her calls over a more attractive sane girl who you begged for a chance with last week? God you're a loser.
Hey, scratch that. I've shit 8 times today. I don't have the energy to get laid so I cancelled my date.
You're the second person to offer to fuck me in the bathroom at work. Idk whether I should feel honored, or if cvs is just a turn on.
That jawline could fucking have its way with me.
That guy u hooked me up with kept calling me james while were doing it...
holy shit! you were walking down a hill and just happened to be passing a trash can like 4 ft away and projectile vomited over a fence into the trash can. kept walking and drank a beer.
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