For some reason, Oliver from Hannah Montana reminds me of pudding.
That's cute.
everyone at work keeps looking at me like they know I got the herp this weekend
Yeah, this dress is irreparably whorey. I've resigned myself to being a family scandal.
If he shows up in a "mount n dew" me shirt im throwing him to the lesbians
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Either I'm still drunk or the right side of the bed is now the left side.
You're only allowed to hookup with one freshman a semester. MAKE IT COUNT.
I can feel my pain tolerance has shot up right along with my libido
I can feel your movements against the shared wall we are leaning up against. It makes me feel as though we are one. Queue Pocahontas song...
I can make a sex schedule on Excel and send it to you guys
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yeah we were on bar number 7 on our bike trail and you decided to steal my bike and we found you 20 minutes later eating Cheetos in the shallow end of your parents pool
I feel like a weird modern Betty Crocker. I'm icing a cake and looking at gay porn, if that's not an accurate portrayal of the 21st century idk what is.
You know I base where I go on the likelihood of me getting laid there. This includes work.
burned my penis with a sauteed onion again.
Nah leave him alone, he is at the strip club with his mom.
All I heard was "sit on my face" "okay" and muffled screaming. I'm still disappointed.
Randomize