well when i got there she was attempting to stick the cat in her mouth.. so maybe you should go check on her
In retrospect - making it rain salt all over our kitchen was not one of my best ideas.
i think of them as a grilled chicken salad and a fried chicken biscuit. obviously Amy is better for me, but when i'm eating her all i can think about is how much better the blonde must taste.
I just want to have sex and eat oreos. and then take body shots. like everyday.
We ate our feelings. Then drank our feelings. I feel feminism delivered.
Braid them armpits, sister.
Apparently I still called the officer "sir" despite the fact I was at a .21 BAC. Southern girls are raised right
When / where did the additional couches appear?
Additional?
James brought one with him when he showed up. Theres still 2 outside and according to facebook, at least one more burned up.
Just sent my cousin to buy me a new bra cause mine is zip tied to a bar in the middle of nowhere Iowa
My vag is like the Sahara
Ew that's gross.
The sad truth. Barren and empty.
Omphalophobia is a real thing. don't ever fucking touch my belly button again dude
put something nutritious in your body. AND NOT JUST THAT JOINT.
The only monogamous relationship I can keep is with my eyebrow lady...
He took a girl home at like eight, fucked her, kicked her out, came back to the bar, and repeated the process again at 10:30 and 2:30. THREE GIRLS IN ONE NIGHT. ALL PICKUPS. I HATE HIM.
My cat is watching me play with my new vibrator
I wore my old cheerleading uniform.. He came before I even touched his dick. Should I be irritated, or flattered?
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