Ummmm I went to see who was upstairs, he was the only one in his room so we had sex while the travel channel played in the background.
Oh good. Romantic. Still, I'm jealous of the sex.
Probably not, since he made me promise not to tell anyone it only lasted ten seconds.
i just google searched 'can you pop your ovary'
we have a love-hate relationship...we love having sex but hate waking up next to eachother
you took my bottle from me saying i was unprepared for its magical qualities. then you buckled it in the backseat.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He gets a blow job and all I get is a huge scar on my arm ... how is this fair?
Please tell me I didn't help an old woman shave her vagina last night. Please.
That's the least of the fucked up shit you did last night dude.
I just want a whole pitcher of margarita and a headdress from party city and sit around and look like a fucking indian princess.
Apparently "I licked it so now it's mine" doesn't apply to people
omg his dad is hot
... I'm currently away at the moment. Leave a msg since I cannot express how much I can't help you stop ruining peoples lives.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
GOD DAMMIT TARYN WHY DO WE ALWAYS HAVE TO ROB PLACES IN OUR FUTURE PLANS?!
There is what appears to be urine on the woman's bathroom sink. I just have so many questions right now.
Like did I tell you about the ex Amish guy? Because that was a mess
No. I'm sorry but once your "would go gay for" list exceeds five people, you're bi. Get over it.
I have dined. Now I want to get fucked.
All I want is to get shitfaced and fuck random strangers is that really to much to ask?
Randomize