it's just weird having a massive boner in the morning when you could have used it the night before.
Dude, Erin Andrews has a nude video circulating the internet.
Is it any good?
Let me put it this way: I bet Stuart Scott's lazy eye went straight after watching that.
for once, the $56 i am about to pay for plan b was actually worth the sex.
remember.. you're not a homewrecker.. you're just creating options for him..
I wish you would just come have sex with me in ihop. I don't want to be here
Ha, I bet. You tipped the waitress like 10 bucks for a glass of water.
Well, it was good.. One step forward for my vaj.. One giant leap backwards for my integrity.
OH MY GOD I CAN'T WAIT TO BONE YOUR EX BOYFRIEND. HOW AWKWARD IS THIS?
So I had sex in a bulldozer lastnight now that's definitely a first...
I used the light from the first guy's text notification to be able to snapchat the second guy in the dark. I am too good at juggling guys.
my human sexuality class is the only class where the porn i watch the night before is relevant to the discussion the next day
i chased my gummy vitamins with cold bacon, never say I don't take care of myself
Also this time, I didn't have a random creepy guy come up from behind me, grab my junk, and whisper "where's the cocaine?" in my ear. So that's also a win.
Learn from my mistakes. DO NOT try to steam a garment of clothing while you are wearing it. The burn is not worth the de-wrinkle.
Woke up to find my underwear in my purse to only remember I took them off at the airport
Randomize
