i fell off the bed in the middle of it, and he yelled "5 second rule" and kept fucking me. i think im in love
I literally need to be slapped with another cock just to notice it.
You wrote me a letter and I cannot make out anything you wrote except the last sentence which says "tell the wolf ill meet him at sunset and that I'm sorrry"
Theres an amvulance here. It might be for me
then he tried to convert me to islam
Why is there bacon braided in my hair
Good point, clearly my love of penis contributed to my torn knee ligament.
So, since you're now a four night stand, I feel comfortable asking: Did I leave my sunglasses at your house? Or my underwear?
I remember it because it was right after the sadness and right before the sluttiness. The calm before the storm if you will
This is the Taco Bell dump we've all been waiting for.
Do they sell "congrats in losing your virginity!" cards and do they come in gay?
I just watched videos of people getting puppies and crying, I cried too. Definitely still drunk
I just saw a raccoon get launched out of a tree by another raccoon. They have turf wars...
Your cat ate my taco.
. . . I don't have a cat?
It was laying in your bed. Now it's hunting for more tacos.
I just found glitter glue on my jesus bracelet...am I really that gay?
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