I had to remind him that there is no "age exchange rate" between the u.s. and spain, and that 16 will always equal 16
if my vagina gave out awards, he should be preparing acceptance speaches for the oscar, the heisman and the nobel peace prize.
I would give my right arm to go back to college. Or maybe not. Would be kinda hard to pick up guys with one arm. Then again, knowin what I do now...I could take any freshman bithc with only one arm.
Apparently I fed my Plan B to my turtle last night.
Ugh he's texting me.
Tell him you're no longer interested in what he has to offer; his shitty personality outweighs his sexual prowess.
Someone just bought me a one liter long island and call me maybe is on. I'm going to die
The cop told us he we helped him pass his monthly bong quota. He almost ran out of room on the hood of his car..
His idea of role playing was him wearing the halloween mitt romney mask while I gave him head
Just think Febushuary. A whole month of 70's esque bush! This is the dream
Just because I don't want to be her booty call doesn't mean I wanna stop getting tit pics. I'm a sucker for double D's
Spider-Man is making out with Wonder Woman while Captain Kirk feels up Princess Lea. Nice to see nerd barriers broken down at Comic Con.
I'll get tired halfway through and end up passed out at a taco shack honestly
Oh dear God, they have a song about Mom...
I just saw a raccoon get launched out of a tree by another raccoon. They have turf wars...
Hello! Time means nothing. Good morning! I have a vague idea of what day it is.
It is Muednethiday, March 34th, in the Year of Our Lord Joe Exotic 3099.
Randomize
