I brought my laptop into the bathroom so I can facebook while vomiting. New low?
Who the hell brings a 6pack to a party. I'm trying to make mistakes.
I feel like Tiger Woods should send Jesse James a gift basket or something...
Dipping doritos in Grey Poupon. Why does no one treat me like the lady I am?
She said her hobbies include bangin guys on one night stands and then sending them facebook relationship requests the next morning just to freak em out
Sorry girl, my dick is like a rollercoaster. You only get a picture after you ride
You hid from a cop under some guy's canoe on his lawn.. It didnt work
we told the drug dealer that our car was dead and we needed a jump so he would bring the drugs to us...
but you were the sluttiest panda there and you need to embrace it
alcohol and riverdancing are a dangerous mix. have a spraind ankle. i die now
It's five in the morning. wtf?
All im saying is that my face might fall off.
Stop it. You know what r&b does to my body
I puked in the back of my mom's new car because I had too much to drink at Chilis. I think I just hit rock bottom.
The fact our science teacher from high school was buying us drinks and hitting on me doesn't matter.
This whole Rob and Chyna drama is giving me trust issues. I'm about to text my ex and be like if you haven't already deleted my nudes, can you?
Randomize
