i've alrwady decidided boys hate me plkease take notyes.
what
nvm
shes got a really nice body. but her face is eh.
you dont need a face to have sex
yeah. then i thought it would be a good idea to show them how hairy my armpits were, so they'd be distracted from the bush in my pants. EPIC FAIL.
I just told my boyfriend I think I might be pregnant using Emoji icons....
which icon did you use to tell him he's not the father?
In Canada she would be a 10 but here in America she's only a 7
I just woke up wearing the O-ring from my dildo harness as a bracelet. Classy.
I think im drinking tonight later on...which is good cuz i walked pass the liquor aisle the other day and i swear i heard a kid call me a pussy
One thing noone tells you about getting put in the drunk tank is do it barefoot. You get free flipflops.
Want to come over? I'm getting stoned and watching Netflix and making s'mores over a candle in my room
He fell backwards into a full bathtub but didn't spill a single drop of the beer in his hand. What a pro.
I slept with a Brazillian Man, That's why I'm Watching The World Cup
HE PUT A HOLE. IN. MY. HOUSE!!!
she grabed my junk and started making lightsaber noises
I wonder if you could get her in a metal bikini
At one point did I say I have a doctorate in fuck u?
Is it wrong to want to use the Dark Web to buy Vyvance for legitimate purposes?
Randomize
