she just stood in the kitchen yelling "REAL WOMEN HAVE CURVES"
I just want a better ending for myself. Not walking around with one sock on and my bush hanging out.
You should have seen her, she looked like a skinny Jabba The Hutt
That literally makes no sense
Exactly
You had one beer and one beer can full of vodka and you took a huge gulp of one of them and called it Emily Roulette
BABIES FOR EVERYONE. I'd be like Oprah except with babies
I stood on the corner waiting to be picked up, dry heaving, and trying to block out the sun.
I didn't think I was even that high but when we were standing in the cop car's headlights I totally forgot how to use my arms
He told me he needed "space" but then goes and likes my insta of panacakes.. Done.
And what in gods fuck were you drinking. It tasted like windex with a mixture of juce
whoa whoa whoa, you're saying I shouldn't post pics of you balls deep in a southern hottie?
Remember the time you puked your contact lens out?
Dude, never piss off a hungover boss.
I mean I've only met the girl once and she was trying to slit some guys tires.
The only thing i ask you for is vegan food and sex.
He had a tattoo of a crown above his penis. He was AMAZING! It was well deserved. LONG LIVE THE KING!
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