why was he too nerdy?
he was a tetris block for halloween
I think drunk me is telling hungover me something... I just have to crack the code.
Condom broke. Took her to CVS for plan B and parked in expectant mothers spot. I laughed.. she cried
I am telling you that nothing wakes you up like stomach acid exiting your nostrils at 10AM
Hahah fuuuck, bag pipers played around me while I threw up. Literally
Not sure I just ate a really big pot brownie, I feel like my future is uncertain
I just shit my pants and had a heart attack. Simultaneously. May or may not be related to this game.
Start warming up your vocal cords, because Fucking With The Windows Open season has arrived.
Well you ended up trying to convince two Greek girls that you were Greek, but failed massively by shouting at them in Spanish, and then almost vomiting after taking way too much snuff. Maybe lay off the guinness next time?
I feel as if I need Plan B just being in the same room as them for more than 5 minutes.
we talked about the guy being eaten by the anaconda.. Then I proceeded to blow him
I thought my sex drive was gone but let me tell you it is back with a vengeance
That's when I realized I was probably naked in the wrong bed
So I don't think the seahorse breeding thing is gonna work.
That was random, even for you Mom.
You ripped his router out of the wall and screamed "I have defeated the matrix"
Randomize
