Did I get blown in the bathroom? Yes. Did she throw up cranberry juice on my shorts? Yes. Did she finish the job? Yes.
He looked way older than 15. He probably thought that since I have braces I was 15. Fuck. The 6 year age gap is never to be spoken about. Especially because what happened constitutes as illegal.
My Adderall prescription says to take my recommended dose and throw away any leftover pills. Why don't more prescriptions come with jokes like this?
It went from "haha, this will be funny" to "full blown anime porn fetish"
NC is no longer selling 190 proof Everclear. We are officially no longer the greatest state.
im already regretting the extreme lack of break up sex that took place
I found him in the livingroom trying to soak up broken glass with the clock from the kitchen.
They just came out of my bathroom and asked if I could spare them a condom. See. Its a good thing I have some.
I made him breakfast and we cuddled on the couch watching march of the penguins, which is, in case you were unaware, the opposite of fucking on a pool table
We found her on the trampoline. She told us she was jumping so she could puke & rally. I think I want to marry her.
Just threw up in the waiting room. I can't believe I have to switch dermatologists again.
hey watch out, they threw flour on everyone who passed out at their party last year.
Safe to say I'm terrified but totally AMPED
I stepped in puke last night then washed it off my shoe with beer. Is there a grace period to respect before wearing them to class?
It's not a funeral, it's a celebration of life. Going commando AND braless is really just honoring him!
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