twelve hours since my last beer and i just blew a .08, time to go to the library
at this point every shot is just a haymaker to my liver
I can neither confirm or deny any bear related allegations right at this time.
No it was after you showed us his fraternaty letters shaven out of your pubes
He's. Duct. Taping. His. Phone. To. The. Wall.
There's jack Daniels coming out of my eyes instead of tears.
I'M ALSO PLAYING VIDEO GAMES AND THINKING ABOUT ORDERING A PJIZZA. I'M NOT SURE WHAT MY MUSTACHE WANTS.
When i'm home next we need to get baked and go to waffle house. I want to see if the waitress can still guess my intoxication level and what i'm about to order before i even make it to the table.
So when the drug raid cops tell you, you should get out of the relationship, it probably means its time.
He also has scotch. LOTS AND LOTS of scotch. I think you'd like him!
That is always a wonderful personality trait!
Sounds good. I'm hoping to have my life together by next week but you never know I guess.
Oh I fucked him, definitely. We played Strip Halo.
Not sure if I should ask if I can have my underwear back or just avoid that all together.
God damn you Coronavirus! I'm jonesing I got the itch. I would fully satisfy a horse for some Taco Bell or Perkins. God help me I'm going insane but I definitely don't want to get sick.
He thought it would be sexy if he found my clothes and dressed me, and it was..until he found a thong under his bed and assumed it was mine. It wasn't
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