i woke up with socks on this morning
so?
i didnt wear socks last night
I'm so drunk I cant read cursive anymore.
If you borrow your friends real doll, should you wear a condom?
my last 3 google searches were anal itchy vagina and ice cubes
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You don't even understand how penises react in the cold. I'm like a 8 year old boy right now.
how in the hell can u get pulled over when ur car is parked.
my host sister just stared at me as i knocked over the lamp, then took out all my chocolate, walked into the bathroom, and locked the door. i'm officially the worst exchange student ever.
We've been here 3 hours and the only 1 word answer she didn't give was the drink order. Don't think I'm getting laid tonight
She stole my hamster. idk who she was, she just walked in and said she knew Keith so she stayed, drank 6 beers, and then stole Charles.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I have reached the state of intoxication where it is now a requirement to sit while peeing.
Just wait til you visit, there will be an endless supply of fresh dick for your demand #economics
You would be so proud at how green we're being. Re-using last night's jello shot containers.. saving the world one step at a time
Just woke up in my fuck buddies bed with, from the looks of her ass and side boob, a girl that is not my fuck buddy. This should be interesting
First time since we broke up that I'm not drunk before noon...win for broken hearts everywhere
I have bruises all over my legs. Did I hit a car with my bike last night?
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