There is a half eaten corn dog and soy sauce on the counter... WTF did you eat last night??
Considering he believes im part of the 2016 us curling team id say hes pretty drunk
I'm in the library if you wanna come give me library head.
dude she was so drunk she thought Jim Joyce made the right call
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Family bonfire. I just discovered my cousin drank an entire bottle of champagne at the age of 7. I just got showed up.
the boys lacrosse roster just went up... now we can see who we had sex with
She tried to cook Velveeta IN the oven on clean mode.
She called him at 5 AM so that he'd be ready for her birthday breakfast and drinks at 6. This is why people don't need to wait until their 21st to have their first drink.
He bought a sex swing! He's building the playground of my dreams!!!!
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I got whiskey, so I think the blizzard and I are at an even match
Whore are you.
Is that a Yoda insult or are you asking me where I am?
Yes.
Rule travel - in 2s or put an ankle monitor on me, and maybe a shock collar.
well smoking weed has become a deal breaker for me so I pretty much use "let's go smoke a blunt" as an icebreaker
If he would've shaved his beard when we first broke up, getting over him would've been so much simpler. That asshole.
I might be getting fired on this week so the only option i see for tonight is to get smashed and have an orgy. actually this idea might explain why i'm not an ideal employee.
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