Those balls look pretty dangerous.
I woke up naked in my own vomit. Not even in my bed. No one is happy.
As I was driving her home she congratulated each and every deer we saw for making it through the first day of dear season.
You kicked in the door when she was blowing him. You dont remember do you?
She fucked me for a ride to the airport. If this is what the rest of college is like, I'm never graduating.
just peed on my shirt somehow, im calling it a day
i don't remember going ever taking off my pants but my pubes are shaved into a K and kelsey is passed out in the shower.
Chilling on my porch debating between pre work drinking or video games and getting high.
I got my eyebrow ring humped out. How is that even possible?
Ims textiofg thsi woht my noes bcuz my hansd aer stli handcuffde to teh bedfrme. Help me
The zombie version of you bit my friend's hand. No more zombie crawl for you. Not ever.
While I appreciate the pity sex (seriously, THANK YOU) we should not do it 3feet away from my ex when he's passed out next time. Awkward.
The only thing he told me before he passed out was that he is from Buffalo and I'm a bitch.
my comprehension of H.D. Thoreau really dives after 8 beers.....
It will astound me if they ever let you graduate.
my dad walked in on me peeing into the trashcan in our kitchen last night at like 2am. wtf
Randomize
