Nah got too drunk to function...probably could have dragged something home over my shoulder if the cops didn't roll
I want to stick my p in your. b.
Come with me and I'll find you a girl. What's your type?
Vagina
Sundresses, hats, and big glasses. That is the greatest trick the devil ever taught women.
someone shit in a solo cup and left it at the base of the stairs. fuck orlando dude.
Would you still love me if I had no teeth
Yeah why?
Cuz i woke up this morning and a few are gone
I like your house better though. Cause it has febreeze and lube.
I don't think you have any idea how kinky that sounds.
Recording ancient aliens and the third Reich. Stoned you will thank me later.
i screwed him while his gf was puking in the shower. 2011 is looking up already
He came out in cowboy boots and underpants holding a beer while he hugged my mom. I love Montana.
Ignoring the crisis im in. Sitting in the front yard in a kiddie pool. Wearing arm floaties, fins and a snorkel. Waiting for a hot guy to walk by.
There's a time and a place for everything. Except for getting wasted at a work event, puking in the parking lot, and sleeping in your car overnight.
Vegas is great, yelled at a guy 4 lanes over if he wanted a bj. ended up having sex in a vacant lot. I think he was homeless.
When i said you could use my car and have sex in the back....i wasn't being serious.
wait you like me?? for my personality??
I know I was surprised too
Randomize
