I have said "that's the wrong hole" for the last time.
So I have to ask... did I meet your lumberjack expectations? I mean, minus the red flannel and all.
Apparently I think casual Friday means I can show up unshaven in yesterday's clothes and reeking of booze.
I'm going to let the use of the word "hella" slide considering I have sperm older than you.
somehow you got everyone naked by playing strip rock paper scissors.
Oh god. It's my first day here, I'm still drunk and somebody just drifted in a forklift. I'm going to die.
Are you pissed because you didn't get action, or the fact i got boned twice in public places tonight?
you called me in the middle of the night, wandering the streets, in search of "the ultimate burrito"
Driving by his house every hour is not stalking, it's a reconnaissance mission... How else can I confront him
Her boyfriend caught us fucking and said "cool you're cheating too" and left.
You live a charmed life.
yeah well, its not like my astrogynecology class is teaching me what i need to know
im almost 90% sure there is no such thing as astrogynecology.
Nahh no judgin. Compliments to the balls are always heartfelt
Me too...I'm driving to work trying to figure out if I put my pants on the right way.
Had a vaginal orgasm. I feel like I made sex my bitch.
You look wasted in ALL of the pictures I just saw you in.
That can't be good for your liver!
Thanks for caring mom.
Randomize
