maybe if you didn't yell 'buh duh duh da duh da dats all folks' when you came she wouldn't have left last night
You put a thong on my pumpkin didn't you.
For my job application I just put "community gardener- personal business" for my previous work experience in place of the neighborhood pot grower/distributor
Just sponge bathed with a swissper. Thrush inevitable. Shaking.
yeah I'm sure your grandparents are the best but it's halloween. get a slutty costume and let's go ham.
Who knew that one of those cheesy light up equalizer shirts would be the light that all those drunk college girls gathered like moths around?
Gin and redbull in a wine glass. They think I'm keeping my wits with a really yellow Chardonnay. Gonna get ugly after a couple.
i keep seeing little orange spots im starting to freak out
you tried mixing adderall in your visine last night..
Did you know that pizza hut has a wedding proposal box? And sorry for being kinda drunk yesterday when you got here
I'm about to eat a 2month old weed brownie I just found in my lax duffel bag. will you answer if I call you in like an hour and a half
I don't think I have face palmed that many times in such a short period. And I've worked tech support.
Drunk me is basically the Oprah of nudes. Everyone gets one.
Please don't bang more than two exes at a time, just so I won't get confused.
I wore the clothes I got arrested in last night to work today.....there is no where but up from here!
She said if you lived here it would be like the x rated version of 3's company
Randomize
