Why did I cab home last night?
Because you said you were drunk, sad, and someone called you a hooker.
Good luck! Who knows he might be a stallion in the bedroom! or it could be like having sex with a crayon.
she broke up with me and one of her excuses was constant soreness... should I be sad or proud?
I'm just trying to think of how much money Little Debbie would make if pot was legalized.
Apparently you can legally be topless in Boulder, CO. Get on it.
He stumbled into my room, flopped on my bed, shoes on my pillow and asked me for a juice box. Then fell asleep with the juice box on his forehead.
Question for you. Do you want to go out somewhere or do you want to have sloppy joes at my house? That's not a euphemism for anything; I actually have stuff to make sloppy joes
I don't mean to crush your hopes and dreams but having sex IN the Stanley Cup isn't possible
She's the good dick fairy. You buy her a beer and half an hour later the best lay in the place is asking to take you home.
First of all she starred talking about God which immediately killed my buzz
What happened last night dude?
YOU SHIT ON MY FUCKING COFFE TABLE THATS WHAT FUCKING HAPPENED!!!
Little does she know that you've out-sourced your conscience to a girl who doesn't even wear pants on a regular basis
i out mim tonsoeep
Like sorry your dick won’t suck itself?
How you run into a glAss door three times in a row I do not know
Randomize
