glad you had fun, i did too. am rubbing aloe on my butt now.
Just ate applesauce I laced with percocets for dinner. I'm pretty sure my grandmother does the same thing.
i am positive it's ok to drink. it's just pieces of the plastic knife i forgot was in the blender.
You're the only person i know who can laugh and talk while puking
I don't think child baring hips is a compliment.
You fought the bouncer and lost, then challenged a hobo to a 40 chugging contest and lost. Sobriety is a good life choice.
I just want to steal his innocence through his penis. I really do.
I haven't gotten it in awhile but since spring break is next week I'm willing to have a pregnancy scare if it means no bleeding through the suit
Yeah wouldn't want it to interfere with beach sex. Nothing should interfere with beach sex
Telling someone to make good decisions on a Thursday is like telling Santa to be Jewish.
I feel like a bottle of fireball rented a bull dozer and ran me over until I was left without a shred of my dignity
Is it completely inappropriate to base my morning after pill purchase on if they sell coffee or not?
Drunk you decided to patrol campus as the Arrow and tell random bystanders "YOU HAVE FAILED THIS CAMPUS." Campus P.D. did not join your crusade.
That explains the nerd bow & arrow...
Guy just walked in with a 40 and a Honda steering wheel. Where the fuck am I?
I am putting clothes on to go find a brownie
In my experiences, brownies are better naked.
THE SUN DOESNT SET TIL 647 YAAAAASSSSSSSSSS. Goodbye seasonal depression hello regular depression
Randomize
