what was i supposed to do!? wake up and actually ask her name??
She has an incinerator in her basement. Have you ever incinerated used condoms?
Lmao what?
It's a yes or no question.
after we finished he farted and said 'i've been holding that one in'
OMFG BINX FROM HOCUS POCUS IS MCGEE IN NCIS!!!!!!!! most. epic. realization. ever.
She asked me to cum on her. ON her. I think we're out of the friend zone
He gave me a 420 gift that consisted of a dime bag, a philly cheesestake, and a Pepsi that was still cold. If he ever wants a free bj, I got him.
If this herpes test comes back negative I'm asking out the doctor.
Make sure to show her the sewer we were arrested in on your tour.
Walt I've been the third wheel taking shotssssssssssssssssolo. Each s is for each solo shot.
Got a thumbs up from a trucker for doing lines on the interstate. God bless america.
I IMAGINED YOU YELLING SURPRISE WITH JAZZ HANDS. AND I LOVE YOU FOREVER
I just want a teacup pet pig so I can take him to parties with me and never have to walk home alone again.
did you know gatorade and rum go really good together
Are you doing depressed science again
maybe
third nipple confirmed
I won the 'drunkest person at a family event' award tonight.
Randomize
