You seriously don't know?He was trying to arrest you and you were shouting that you were being punk'd. Punk'd? that show got cancelled like 5 years ago.
I just remember standing in the shower with you eating chips.
I understand why you refuse to be sober now
It was so weird. I had like an out of body experience. I heard the moaning, but I didn't know it was me.
You told me that you only walk into walls because it makes the room stop spinning.
What's that word that means bigger and smaller and bigger and smaller, again?
Goddamn it, Jaime, it's 4am. Throbbing. The word is throbbing.
Just found out drinking 6 trays of random shots makes me wake up on a club toilet with my underwear and jeans around my ankles
Seriously, it sounds like someone is torturing a dozen cats inside a Japanese techno club while a jamaican yells random hipster words through a megaphone.
Mike found the condom wrapper on the washing machine and looked at me and said "Magnum? NICE girl. Get that nut!" then proceeded to puke in a cup
I know my whole body feels like I belly flopped onto concrete. Seriously need to tone it down for a while
Let's buy some Wrangler jeans and be real live men.
Vodka and Jamison is not a mixed drink
don't worry, i'm not mad. i'm just angry. and furious. and about to set your ass on fire.
My mom wants to name our new dog the same name as my fuck buddy. This will be weird
your mission the party friday: cockblock me at ALL costs. I've cheated on my boyfriend twice. I feel like three times would be crossing some sort of line...
and no, I don't care how how hot he is
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