I hate this i feel like im wasting my youth here. I should be off hooking up with boys around the world and having awkward next morning convos in different languages!!
Her dad smelled like someone lit a fart and burned their ass hairs.
Eating in charleston sc at a seafood place called "hymans". Like normal I had no problem finding it.
If we went to a costume party as Batman and Robin I would go as Robin, that's how much you mean to me
So I woke up in a strange bed with a note taped to my arm giving me directions back to my brothers apartment.
well his nickname is liver of steel so it makes sense that his balls follow suit. tell him i say sorry
How many vodka infused gummi bears count as 1 drink?
yeah that bottle of rum is only the second thing I want that kid to be pulling out of his pants
I don't know what the bubonic plague feels like- but I'm gonna guess its something like this.
HE BEAT A GUY WITH NOTHING BUT RAZZLE DAZZLE AND HIS FABULOUSNESS
I got a hand job after work. Remember those? From the 90s...
Why can I remember how tall Nicki Minaj is from looking up her height once months ago, yet after weeks into the semester I can't even remember where any my classrooms are located
Importance
did i get sucker punched in the face last night or was our make-out session just that intense?
Just had to tell a NYC cop I was doing the Dougie in a houndstooth jumper so he could find me in the security video.
i passed out in front of ihop...for the second night in a row. i think i need to reevaluate my life choices
Randomize
