Dual, econ, hell, shiv, aunt, puppy. 1 out of 6. T9 word needs to learn how to cuss like me.
i kept drunkenly begging people i met to be in my facebook mafia
we were naked in his bed and he told me all about what a "baller" alexander the great was.
We got blackout for the alumni dinner, and then walked THROUGH the keynote speaker, managing to still say "excuse me".
I just had to ask my dad for money to pay for my birth control. I've hit financial rock bottom.
No she left bc the of pic I have of my mom in my bathroom. She thought it was my gf
Why the hell do you have a picture of YOUR MOM in your bathroom?!?!
All I know is that every time I looked at my glass it was full again and I thought it would be rude not to drink it
He drops f bombs like every other word and he just gave me 127 shares of tmobile stock for free. I feel like I should pay him back in blow jobs or something.
And the next morning he asked me why I had clothes on so I said so that he could take them off again.
We had sex on a dog bed..
He sent me a dick pic from work, but I could see all the pizzas in the background. Now I'm just hungry.
i gotta stop hooking up with people just to get to their dogs
I woke up, topless, my car was parked funny so I threw on my hoodieto go fix it and found a jello shot in my pocket. where did I go last night?!
we bonded over knowing every word to freaky gurl by gucci mane so it’s kinda starting to make sense why I gave him head in his cul de sac
My first hangover at work. I'm officially an adult.
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